Great News about Chocolate!
No offense to any blondes. That’s just how it was written.
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded…
“I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.
“No, from skipping.”
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Great News! Chocolate is a Vegetable
Chocolate is a Vegetable:
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS.
Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category.
Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy.
So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Put ‘eat chocolate’ at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.
Now, isn’t that handy?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
You can’t let that happen, can you?
Those are too funny. I wish chocolate really was that healthy—I would be the happiest, slimest person around (hahaha). Thanks for the chuckles.
Sandi
Thanks for the laugh. I agree with the lady above if chocolate was healthy I’d have no problem sticking to healthy eating.
skipping …. something that produces instant joy. I work with kindies and they skip all the time.
Yarrow
LOL… explains how I managed to only gain 3 lbs with my last pregnancy… a minimum of a 6 pack of KitKats every day… my mom was just talking about that the other day, saying she was surprised my daughter didn’t come out with 3 score marks running down her…. and the KitKat logo on each limb
not pregnant I can barely LOOK at chocolate w/o gaining 3 lbs!
Ha ha.
I could eat my weight in chocolate. Oh wait, I already have! That explains my shape…
Chocolate is the one thing I need to keep out of my house. I can’t resist it. Just about anything else I can substitute something healthier for.
You chocolate lovers will stop at nothing to justify your habits! lol kidding