Diane

2008 is going to be different.  I am not going to fall off the band wagon and stay off.  I’m sure I’ll fall off sometimes, but I won’t let myself stay there.  With a whole hearted effort only a fraction of the year, I mangaged to lose nearly 30 pounds this year.  With continued effort, I should be able to lose 3 times that in 2008.   I have managed to do well this holiday season, mainly because of kid crud, as my husband calls it.  I know I got it because of not eating healthy and doing what I know to be beneficial for health.  I have lost 6 of the 10 pounds I gained back in November.

One thing this holiday season has taught me is to not stress about the future.  I was so stressed about my friend coming to visit and she ended up being able to stay less than 12 hours.  I ended up not being able to do much of what I wanted to do while my husband is home simply because I can’t.  There is no point stressing about it; it’s not going to accomplish anything beyond causing frustration.  Things will get done when they get done.  I can only control today and plan for the next.  Not to say that I don’t make future plans, but I’m not going to let it get to me if things change beyond my control.  Obviously I’m making future plans if I’m talking about 2008.

So my promise to myself is this: I will do the best I can each day to eat healthy, exercise and enjoy the life I have with my husband and children. 

My goal is to lose at least 90 pounds by Dec. 31, 2008, aiming for 2 pounds a week.  To do this I plan on doing 45 -60 minutes of cardio a day and 2 complete body workouts a week.  Monday - Friday will be at the Y and the weekends will be getting in 12 -14 thousand steps a day.  I am considering going almost completely vegan.  I will have to have pizza once in a while!  I read a discription today that fits why I can be vegetarian and overweight - a junk food vegetarian.  If I were to cut milk out of my diet, which I have done before, it eliminates a lot of other foods.  Chocolate and bakery foods aren’t quite as good without milk.  That is where most of my unhealthy eating comes from. 

I think that getting together with Tasha will help a lot.  I certainly don’t want to be the only one showing up at the same weight!  Besides, just knowing someone else that I can see face to face is going through the same struggle, anyway, I think it will be good.  Don’t get me wrong, you all have been so helpful and encouraging this year.  I’ve very glad I found you all, it’s just that talking with someone not through e-mail is nice too.

I wish you all a Happy, Healthy New Year!

Thanks for the pep talks yesterday. 

I talked with a couple of the women from the moms group and finally opened up about it being so difficult to make friends at this stage in life.  They had some good suggestions and also let me know that the main person who was bugging me has offended just about everyone in the club and has no idea she’s done so.  Unfortunately, she’s president of the chapter until June.  I may give it one more shot.  The membership ladies are giving me a few weeks to think it over so I don’t have to fill out a ton of paperwork if I decide to renew my membership.

Nature has intervined and I am once again losing weight, but not in a good way.  I thought I was having a reaction to some of the cleaning chemicals I used yesterday, but now I’m not so sure.  I haven’t been able to eat for about 36 hours and am still not hungry in the least - even if I could swallow.  But, my kitchen is finally clean and I doubled my income for the year today.  I really don’t enjoy seamstress work, but there seems to be a call for it so I’ve picked up a few jobs lately. 

Well, I am going to go rest my eyes while the kids destroy the Christmas tree - all three ornaments that are left.  And I was worried about the dog.

Okay, this probably won’t have much to do with weightloss, but then again, doesn’t everything affect it?  I would have posted it elsewhere, but I just need to get it out and some of it will be issues with people I deal with on occasion in person that I don’t want to.  Won’t be offended if you stop reading here.  Heck, I won’t even know!

I have been a member of a moms group for two years.  For the past year I have done the newsletter and attended playgroups and other things that I could work around the kids schedules.  In July a new board took over and things with the newsletter just went from bad to worse.  Everything I did was edited within an inch of it’s life by someone who hasn’t dealt with grammar since high school.  I have gotten jobs based on one sample of my writing so I know that I have a good style most of the time.  This last newsletter I wrote the main article and it was nit picked beyond belief.  I really don’t give a damn if she likes what I wrote, but for Pete’s sake, don’t insist on corrections that aren’t even correct.  To top it off, she wanted the name of the person who is going to be doing the newletter next month put in as having done this issue. 

The whole thing has me down.  After two years, I have decided not to renew my membership.  There are 2 people in the club who may know my name if they were to see me in public and I seriously question if they would even say hello.  How pathetic am I that after 2 years of trying to be friends with these women that I can honestly say that I have no friends in Ohio?  I really don’t know what to do about it.   I hosted play groups - no one came.  The one that 2 people came to, they stood in the front yard and talked for a half hour after they’d “left.”  Any that I attend, there are definite groups that have no interest in anyone new.

Making friends has never been easy.  As an adult I’m finding it impossible when it is in person.  I feel like I’m some sort of alien with 3 heads and purple, hairy feet.  I don’t want to resign myself to the 3 close friends that have always been there, especially considering the all live on the East Coast.  I’m not discounting my husband, but it’s not the same as having female friends.  I know that having spouses, children, other responsibilites make developing friendships difficult, but is it impossible? 

The question I keep asking myself is this - Is my depression causing the loneliness or is the loneliness causing the depression?  I have crying for the better part of two day when my kids and husband aren’t paying attention.  I probably shouldn’t even publish this, but keeping it in isn’t helping either.  I just needed to get it out.  Maybe it will help.

I really want to go and get my puppy from the spca.  Unfortunately, I know she is still there.  There are so many things I don’t miss about her, but I do miss the little terror a lot.  Doesn’t help that my daughter has now decided that she doesn’t like animals “because Mommy took Abby away.”  The little bugger is trying blackmail, though.  She said she’d like them again if Abby came home or if we got a kitten.  Nothing is going to happen until we get the results of her allergy tests back after Christmas.  And I won’t be going to get Abby, no matter how much I want to.

I’m still pulling my hair out about food when company is here.  I know what her traditional holiday dinner is and there is no way I’m going to prepare it.  It is a fake ham, high in fat and salt already, sliced in half and baked with a whole stick of butter on each half.  And she won’t eat anything with onions.  Almost everything I make has onions in it!  I’m sure I’ll figure it out.  Think I’d have a better grasp on this vegetarian cooking thing since I’ve never eaten meat!  Rather ironic.

Well, I’m off to the grocery store to buy mini chocolate chips, marachino cherries and other cookie making things that I’ve forgotten to pick up.  With any luck, all the cookies will be out in tomorrow’s mail.  Cut way back on the number of people I’m sending them to this year.  I figure if my bil’s family hasn’t spoken to us in 18 months except to be upset we were sending a present for each of their kids, well, maybe I can cross that one off my list.  And my bf requested just a card so she doesn’t have to attempt self control over yet one more thing this year.  Certainly don’t want to contribute to her holiday stress!

Have a great weekend.  Remember, there are still a few days to fool Santa into thinking we’ve all been good!

I will have company for Christmas this year which means I actually have to cook.  Let me explain my cooking this way - I have illusions of grandeur when it comes to cooking.  I try, but really (and I do mean really) should stick to the basics.  Anyway, I was looking at some sites for new ideas.  Fortunately, my guests are vegetarian as well, but for some reason I don’t think they would like Braised Turnips and Parsnips with Rosemary any more than I would.  I know they’re good for you, but, come on, just because it’s a vegetable doesn’t mean it has to be part of a holiday celebration!  The search continues.  I will probably end up with potatoes, green beans, stuffing and seitan of some sort. 

Yesterday I went to the endocrinologist and her nurse was totally baffled that a vegetarian could be overweight.  She automatically chalked it up to hormonal imbalances, but asked anyway.  The answer is simple - too much food and too much of it being sweets and fats.  It was nice for a change to have the weight looked at as a symptom, not just a cause and lack of will power, though.

Wishing everyone a happy day.

I’m 36 today, but I feel so much older physically.  Mentally, well, we won’t even go there! :)  I’m tired from the time I get up until about 7:30 at night.  Then by 10 I’m wiped again.  I wish I could take a nap during the day, but that just isn’t possible.  Was hoping to get some extra rest while my parents were here, but . . .

First day my mom watched the kids my daughter cut her hair.  I love my mom, but when it comes to making kids behave, well, she just doesn’t and she doesn’t notice when they’re doing something dangerous, like climbing on the counters or things like that.  So, I didn’t get any extra sleep.  I did enjoy having them visit, though.   My dad painted the two kids rooms and now I need to finish decorating them.

I didn’t exercise much while they were here and we ate out quite a bit so my weight is not what it was, in the bad way.  And I still have to bake all my christmas cookies.  Thankfully most of them are being sent to relatives.  I’m not looking forward to having more company for Christmas.  I am getting back on my exercise routine, but I’ll mess with the diet thing after the beginning of the year.

Anyway, that’s life in this particular Cincinnati suburb.  Have a great Tuesday.

Well, I have a computer in my den now.  Yeah!!!!

Saw this today and thought of you all. 

We are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with
most diets is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet),
or you don’t get enough variation (the liquid diet), or you go broke
(the all-meat diet).

Dinner
A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on
plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Yes, this is supposed to be a joke.  Happy Wednesday.