Diane

Nope, don’t actually know them outside of fantasy, but I digress.  I put all of my Bon Jovi CD’s onto my mp3 player and have been walking to that this week.  Did almost 2 miles in 36 minutes, formerly 45 and 1.6 miles in 31 minutes, previously 33 minutes.  Being upset with my husband one of the evenings may have helped.  He had the gall to tell me he’d rather order pizza out that he didn’t like as well as mine rather than have the few extra dishes to clean up!  Okay, healthy crust and toppings with a few dishes vs. unhealthy crust, on topping and a ton of cheese.  And he wondered why I was ticked off.  Ah, nothing like the soothing sounds of “You give love a bad name” and “Have a nice day” to calm the nerves.  All right, all right, I’m sure the walk had something to do with that!

I went shopping today and bought two tops.  I actually had to get a smaller size than expected!   Both are something I would never have thought I’d pick out, but I figured why not give it a shot.  I don’t particularly care for the Just My Size t-shirts that my current wardrobe consists of so I went for bold and different styles.   Hopefully I’ll need to go shopping again before the Blue Man Group concert in November.  I might actually get to like this whole shopping thing. 

 Well, it’s that time of month again and I have a newsletter to get out.  Should be pretty easy this time.

 Have a great rest of the weekend, everyone!

Okay, so I wasn’t going crazy.  There was a reason for my pain.  I was dehydrated.  With the heat this summer my body just wasn’t getting enough water.  Never in a million years would I have guessed that was the problem since I normally drink a gallon a day.  Stress is a little bit of it, but after drinking 1.5 gallons yesterday and already having had a gallon today, I’m feeling like a new person.  And I’m half way to my goal for the week as far as weightloss goes.

 Still not sure what I’m doing with my puppy.  My husband is so trying to bribe me.  If I don’t keep her and therefore don’t spend the money on training her, I would have enough money to get the digital camera body I’ve been wanting.  I just e-mailed a member of my MOMS Club that might be interested in her.  If she’s not, I’m going to call the trainer and get that done.  I really do like the little dog, but I’m not sure I want to deal with it all right now.   Hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it.

I have not been myself for several weeks now.  I’ve had a headache and/or migraine for the better part of 6 weeks and it’s really gotten me down.  Nothing is helping and, of course, it’s all in my head.  Well, no, it’s not.  Every muscle in my body aches.  I really didn’t expect to feel like this for at least a half century!  I’m not supposed to wake up every morning feeling worse than after going through nearly 23 hours of labor!  I have managed to stay below the 250 mark, but not by much.  I don’t know if it’s the heat or what, but it’s frustrating.

Funny thing is, I’m not depressed.  Tired, sore, in pain, frustrated, yes, but not depressed.   Even the dogs, kids and husband aren’t getting on my last nerve except at certain times of month.  Today I had to laugh.  I had a 50% off coupon for a craft store (my favorite place to shop) and couldn’t find anything I wanted to spend money on.  What made me laugh was this question - Am I more depressed than I realized and have no interest in things or am I not nearly as depressed as I have been in the past few years and therefore felt no need to spend the money to feel better?  Hmmm.  Maybe it just comes down to not wanting to waste money. 

Right now my stress level is very high.  I have to decide what to do with my puppy.  Do I spend a lot of money on training, not knowing if it will work for sure or do I give away the puppy and break my daughter’s heart?  Husband does not like the dog.  I know she’s trainable, but is she worth it?  I just want to throw in the towel on this one, but I took her as a puppy and I’m responsible for her.  It’s not her fault she’s a pain in the butt - it’s mine.    Also, the dentist took one look at my daughter’s upper lip today and said she’d never seen anything like it and referred us to an oral surgeon.  It’s nothing serious physically, but will be emotionally if it’s not taken care of.  I know, I had the surgery when I was 14 because I wouldn’t smile.  My daughter’s top lip is attached to the gum in the center so it can’t move normally.  My son is the same way.  I don’t want my kids going through surgery at a young age, well my son already has for another reason, but I don’t want their self esteem to be damaged if they don’t. 

If I could wish myself anything selfish at the moment, it would be a month at a spa.  Relax, meditate, exercise, have someone else prepare meals.  Guess I’ll settle for a good night’s sleep.

I should have realized years ago that I would be cursed with PMS forever.  My mother teaches a personality course where there are 4 temperments.  I am pretty even in three and the letters, in order, are PMS!  I just feel like screaming or crying or sleeping for a week every month.  TOM is easier!  My kids get on my last nerve, not to mention my husband.  I have no energy to do anything even if I did have a desire to.   Every muscle aches, which I guess is a good thing because I exercise instead of not.  Gonna hurt anyway so why not at least have a plausable reason.  The only relief my doctors have ever offered is the pill and that causes severe clinical depression.  Yeah, I’ll take being a bitch one week a month over permanent depression.  Oh, and I always gain about 5 pounds.  It comes off quickly, but it’s still frustrating.  This heat isn’t helping anything right now either.  The only thing good I have to say about today is that it is one day closer to cooler weather.

Now I must try to find a dog trainer that won’t cost an arm and a leg; she’s already taken those!  If she doesn’t get trained soon, she will be finding herself in another home.  That, of course, set my daughter crying for an hour yesterday when I told her Abby might not be able to live here.  Fun all around.

Sorry for being so depressing today.  Just had to get it out but if I say anything to my Mom, she worries and if I say anything to my husband he tries to fix it.  Well, it ain’t broken and I don’t want to cause my mother another heart attack over hormones.

I haven’t had any coffee to drink this week and now my blood pressure is normal.  Kinda sad about that ’cause I’d gotten to like coffee.  All I drank was one 8 ounce cup a day.  At least I haven’t been quite as tired this week so I guess it will be an occasional treat, not a daily consumable. 

Maybe exercising consistantly has helped too.  Did my walk with the dogs yesterday morning and then spent about 1/2 an hour in the pool last night.  Not all of it was treading water, but some was.  This morning I walked my puppy for almost 45 minutes.  The same walk used to take me almost an hour.  I’m losing inches, but the pounds aren’t going away.  I know it will start going down again.

Have a great weekend everyone.

To be perfectly honest, today I’m sick of all of them.  Love them to death, but wish I could not have to deal with them for the next 24 hours.  Hubby really hasn’t done anything to annoy me today, but he no doubt will.  I believe that is one of the unwritten laws of marriage - must annoy wife at least once a day.  The kids are being calm and quiet for the first time today.  DS woke up crying this morning at 6:15 and has been a holy terror ever since.  Cereal dumped on the floor, watering rice cakes (thought one had thrown up it was so gross), dumping all the dog treats on the carpet, screaming because his Snoopy shirt wasn’t clean, dumping out all the shredded paper.  DD woke up nice enough, at breakfast nicely and then threw a fit because she   wanted to hold on to the dog’s leashes and not ride in the stroller, refused to have her hair brushed, screamed because I wouldn’t let them out back to play right after our walk when her cheeks were as red as a cherry.  After she’d cooled down, they did go out to play and then she threw another fit when I made them come in for lunch a half hour later.  The most annoying was when she was running around the kitchen with the broom “helping Mommy.” 

I just want to be alone today.  I want to go for a walk and not have kids complaining and dogs panting.  I don’t want to hear about how untrained my puppy is from my husband, who, to his credit, is walking her every evening for me.  I don’t want to have to worry about anyone else’s desires for just a little while.  I just want some ME time and don’t want to have to get up at 5 a.m. to have that!

Okay, I’m done. 

Today I used the pool for my workout.  I treaded water for 30 minutes, swam 4.5 laps (38 feet each) and walked the shallow end for about 5 minutes.  I was just as tired from that as I am from 45 minutes of walking!  At least I didn’t have to deal with sweat.  Don’t like that with walking.  It was a nice change of pace.  I think I’ll try to get in 30 minutes a day of swimming/treading water in the evening while the weather is nice and a 45 minute walk in the morning with the kids and dogs.  I’d like to get to the gym 2-3 days a week, but that hasn’t been happening. 

Well, I’m headed to get some sleep.  Hopefully the kiddies will sleep well tonight so I can too.  Allergies are such a pain.

 Have a good one!