Cutting back
Guilt. That is all I’ve been feeling lately. I feel that no matter what I do, I’m letting someone or everyone down. It’s no secret that I have dealt with depression since I was in my teens. That’s when it was first diagnosed, anyway. Five years ago I stopped taking medication (with Doc’s knowledge) and vowed never to take them again. I managed very well through two pregnancies and three moves with just diet and meditation. The past few months I’ve done my best to eat right, exercise and keep a positive attitude, sort of the fake it till you make it syndrome. It didn’t work. On Friday I went back on medication for what I’m hoping will be a short time.
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I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep lately, the lack of a break from daily life, never knowing when my husband is going to be working or home. I think it was just a combination of everything. I don’t like who I become when I’m depressed. I’m not the wife, mother or even the person I know I can be. Yes, I feel guilty about that too. I felt guilty every time I didn’t lose weight or didn’t meet the goals I’d set for myself. There have been no external forces making me feel this way, I do it all to myself.
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So I am cutting back on things. Too bad laundry can’t be one of them! I will eat for a healthy mind and body; I will exercise for the same; I will, the saying goes, write myself into well being. Don’t worry, it won’t all be here! However, at the end of each day I will do my best to believe that I have done all I could and rest knowing that I always have tomorrow.
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Thank you to all the wonderful people I have met here. You have truely been a source of light for me during this time. I’ll still be around, just not as much.
Hey Diane, I just signed up on this site yesterday, and so far, I am really enjoying it!
Look, one thing I want you to remember is that, what you are doing with your life, is not to please everyone else, it’s to “most importantly” please yourself, because until you are happy, you can’t make anyone else be. Start speaking positive things into your life! Start telling yourself that you can do this! Begin your day with a prayer, and ask God to help you get through your day. And before you know it, you’ll be a happier, more slimmer, person!!! But take it one step at a time. Our weight didn’t come on us overnight, and it won’t come off overnight. Just give yourself some time, and know that we all are here to encourage you and pray with you, if you like! Take care, and I’ll be thinking of you! Have a wonderful day! you deserve it!!!
Diane, I am glad that you are doing what you need to do for yourself. I understand the guilt and the depressions issues. That come overwhelm you and take you right off track. I hope you will be able to feel less of the guilt and depression soon. Take care of yourself. You know where to find me if you ever need to chat.
I too have delt with depression Diane and I know it’s not an easy thing. And on top of that you have two little one’s to take care of and a husband who is very busy. That’s alot! And it’s my own personal opinion when I say that alot of us mom’s try and do everything right and proper or we feel like failures. It’s easy for us to set ourselves up trying to be the perfect and supporting wife and perfect mom and perfect housekeeper and on and on. But, we can only do so much. Remember, not everything has to be perfect and you don’t have to try and make everyone feel better. Confide in your husband if you haven’t already. Make him listen. Just because we are stay at home mom’s doesn’t mean we have to do everything that deals with the house 24 hours a day. Do your best Diane. But that doesn’t mean trying to do it all either. I hope you see better days.