Diane

Not that I’m shocked.  I haven’t been watching what I eat and I haven’t been exercising a whole lot the past couple of weeks.    Gained back 2 pounds.  Went to bed last night knowing I needed to change things today so I had a healthy breakfast and am going to the gym after bathing the kids. 

rn

Yesterday I was outside a lot with the kids and noticed the difference.  Two weeks ago I would have been moving constantly; yesterday I did not.  I wanted to, but didn’t have the energy to do so.  I’m going to get my energy back.

rn

Have a great week everyone.

  Please say it isn’t so!  I typically am in bed for 8 hours.  Not all of it sleeping because of the kids, but try to get that 8 hours a night.  I wake up dead tired every morning.  Last night I couldn’t sleep so I got up and played on the computer for a while.  Ended up getting   about 5.5 hours of interrupted sleep.  Today I’m not tired. 

rn

Some times my self awareness overwhelms me. I should have figured this one out nearly 15 years ago!  When I lived in Poland the sun rose and set just a few hours apart during the summer so I was going to bed about midnight and getting up no later than 5.  I did take a short nap in the afternoon (ah, the days before children ) but I never felt tired.  I’ve noticed it before, but have refused to accept it.  I don’t wanna get up early!!!

rn

Now that I can no longer deny the reality of my slumber needs, I have no real reason not to be at the gym at 5:30 and get my non-cardio in before anyone else in my family is awake.  And I guess if this is my biggest problem today, I’ve got absolutely nothing to complain about.  I will enjoy my day feeling pretty much awake and take advantage of this long denied truth.

Guilt.  That is all I’ve been feeling lately.  I feel that no matter what I do, I’m letting someone or everyone down.  It’s no secret that I have dealt with depression since I was in my teens.  That’s when it was first diagnosed, anyway.  Five years ago I stopped taking medication (with Doc’s knowledge) and vowed never to take them again.  I managed very well through two pregnancies and three moves with just diet and meditation.  The past few months I’ve done my best to eat right, exercise and keep a positive attitude, sort of the fake it till you make it syndrome.  It didn’t work.  On Friday I went back on medication for what I’m hoping will be a short time.

rn

I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep lately, the lack of a break from daily life, never knowing when my husband is going to be working or home.  I think it was just a combination of everything.  I don’t like who I become when I’m depressed.  I’m not the wife, mother or even the person I know I can be.  Yes, I feel guilty about that too.  I felt guilty every time I didn’t lose weight or didn’t meet the goals I’d set for myself.  There have been no external forces making me feel this way, I do it all to myself.

rn

So I am cutting back on things.  Too bad laundry can’t be one of them!  I will eat for a healthy mind and body; I will exercise for the same; I will, the saying goes, write myself into well being.  Don’t worry, it won’t all be here!  However, at the end of each day I will do my best to believe that I have done all I could and rest knowing that I always have tomorrow.

rn

Thank you to all the wonderful people I have met here.  You have truely been a source of light for me during this time.  I’ll still be around, just not as much.

I finally got to the gym yesterday.  I only did the strength training there because I didn’t have enough time to get the cardio in before child watch closed.  I am set up for 8-12 reps for each exercise since I haven’t lifted weights of any kind since my freshman year of college.  I managed to get to 12 on all of them.  I can feel it today, but suprisingly, it’s just a little twinge here and there.  Guess I need to increase the weights or do more sets.  I’ll ask tomorrow when I go what they recommend.

rn

It’s rainy here today, but both kids have rain coats so maybe I’ll get them out for a walk later this afternoon.  DD has been saying she’s scared of being outside the past few days.  I have no idea what is going on and she just starts crying when I ask more questions.  I’ve been outside with her whenever she’s out there and I have no clue what could have happened. 

From First for Women:

rn

Simply pull the navel in toward the spine every few steps and hold for as long as you can before relaxing.  Then repeat as many time as you like.  This simple action delivers spot-sculpting results equivalent to doing sit-ups but without the strain that floor work can put on your body.

rn

The article also recommends getting enough Omega-3’s (fish, shrimp, squash, walnuts, almonds, flaxseed and flaxseed oil), fiber and 3 servings of calcium a day.  I personally like chia seeds better than flaxseed, but no one seems to mention them in articles outside of Prevention magazine. 

rn

The deep breathing is called Body Flex.  It gets reviews ranging from hated it and she’s a quack to loved it and she’s a godsend.  I figure it somewhere in between and at the very least increases lung capacity.  My mom and a couple of her friends lost quite a bit of weight using just that. 

rn

Hope this helps.

I recently read about a way of exercising the abdominal muscles more during a walk so I thought I’d give it a try yesterday.  I really didn’t expect anything of it.  Today I feel like I did about 1000 sit ups!  Guess it really does work.  On top of that, I did do 50 sit ups and about 10 minutes of deep breathing that engages the abdominals as well.  My mother lost about 40 pounds doing the deep breathing exercises so I figured if she could do it, how hard could it be?  After all, I am a trained vocalist so I knew all about deep breathing, right?  Wrong! After doing that yesterday, before anything else, I could already feel the muscles wondering why they were suddenly being used.

rn

Now I’m off to do my exercise and hopefully get to the gym today.  If I can’t, God gave me two good legs and some lungs long before I knew what a gym was.  About time I started using them properly on a regular basis.

rn

Happy Wednesday everyone.  Make it a good one.

A week ago my average steps per minute when walking was 102 spm.  Today it was 114.  An average taken from nearly 1 hour of walking.  And that doesn’t factor in that for nearly a half mile, I was carrying my 3.5 year old and trying not to get tangled in the dogs leashes.  Got them all home and then I went for a walk by myself.

rn

It was either go for a walk or sit down and remain angry.  My husband is home again today so I was going to take my daughter to the Y with me and work out.  Well, they’d changed the hours of child watch and she had no place to go.  So, we went home.  She wanted to take the dogs for a walk and was doing really well walking the puppy when all of a sudden she just started sobbing.  I had to carry her the rest of the way home.  As if I didn’t weigh enough.  The extra 33 pounds was torture.  The puppy didn’t want to walk any more so I as half dragging her just to get home.  She’d run then flop on the grass.

rn

Anyway, I get home and dd finally stops crying.  I guess she was just really thirsty because she drank about a pint of water and was fine.  I told my husband that I was going for a walk and grabbed my mp3 player only to find the battery needed charging.  Oh, well.  I went walking anyway. 

rn

Now I feel much better, albeit a little saddened by the desire to walk the deer paths and old logging roads of my childhood.  For some reason I’m really missing Maine today even though I know they’re having a major storm and I couldn’t have gone walking if I were there today.  I really miss true nature.  Want more than what suburban life offers.

 rn

rnrnrn

Go Red Sox!

 Am I showing my age there?  Oh, well.  Age progression certainly beats the alternative.  Husband is home sick so the day has been very chaotic.  Sort of always happens when he takes a day off.  Both he and ds are sleeping.  I’m going to take my daughter out for a walk.  Will be going to the Y later for my weight lifting.

rn

Hope everyone has a wonderful day, especially since the Red Sox are winning!

Congratulations!  Savor your victory while you can!

It’s just been one of those off days.  I’m overwhelmed with kids and dogs.  Husband has been home only to sleep it seems.  He was home for a few hours this evening, but hid in his office most of the time until the kids went to bed.  Now he’s at work again and will probably sleep most of the day tomorrow, depending on when he gets home. 

rn

I didn’t manage to stay even close to the calorie intake I’d planned today.  I just ate because I was bored and frustrated.  Everything is just hitting all at once - illness for weeks on end, TOM, new puppy, husband never home and cranky when he is because everythings not picked up, the cold snap after such nice weather.  I’m not depressed, thank God, just really tired.  I know, I know, I should be sleeping, but I just had to take the puppy out for the last time this evening.

rn

Until today I’d done well with my eating, but hadn’t always gotten in my exercise.  At least my daily average for steps has gone up drastically.  When I started keeping track, I was lucky to get to 1000, now it is about 5-6 thousand if I don’t go for a walk.  I can see improvements and over all I do feel much better than I did at the beginning of the year.

rn

So, yes, tonight I want to quit.  I want to wake up and not be overweight.  Since that isn’t how it works, I will not quit.  I don’t like what other people have to look at, so I will not quit.  I’m done rambling for now.